Cultural Misses

Post by Lara

1 July 2012

At training the other day, I and some fellow PCTs got into a conversation about funny interactions with our host families. Most of these involve some level of what our country director calls cultural missing. Basically this is a fancy term for what happens when two people attempt to make a connection and…miss…in some way due to their cultural differences.  Below are listed some cultural misses we’ve experienced thus far.

• A fellow PCT was explaining to her host father that her family was from the Philippines before they moved to the US.  Her father jumped in: “Ah, yes. I know this. We all came from there. It’s in the Bible. The book of the Philippians.”  
• Another fellow PCT’s host family has taken it upon themselves to find him a suitable wife while he is here. During his first week, they introduced a new woman to him every night, and some of them even cooked him dinner. It took several days for him to communicate the message that he isn’t looking for a wife right now.
• I learned in Krio class last week that the Krio translations of “Go away from me” and “Come with me” are the exact same phrase.  I asked my teacher how people are supposed to know which one you’re saying and he quickly repeated the phrase twice, once while gesturing “go away,” and once while beckoning toward me. 
• Twice now, my 5-year-old host sister has climbed onto my lap, told me that she’s my baby, and grabbed at or tried to expose my breasts. Both times this was witnessed by older host siblings and even a parent, and so far no one else has said anything about it.  It may be hard to think of it this way, but I’ve come to learn that breasts are not usually considered “sexy” here, and they’re more or less regarded as just another body part.  [Side note: I was somewhat successful in stifling this behavior the second time. I looked at her and said “Yu no mi pikin”/”You are not my child”, which she thought was very funny, and eventually she got distracted from that game and moved on to another]
• A fellow PCT’s family became offended during the first week we were here because the host brother was given the duty of walking with him to training, and the PCT told his host mother and brother that he does not want to be walked to training every day.  He tried explaining that in American culture, “alone time” is something we cherish, and he wanted to take the time that he walks to training for himself, but this concept was totally foreign to them.
• I’ve had some trouble lately dealing with the fact that about 99% of communication here is body language and tone, and only a small part is made up of the words that are said. The toughest part for me to deal with is that if someone says something in a “polite” tone, then it is usually interpreted as polite, even if the words do not sound polite. For instance, our host family will speak a command such as “Come inside” or “go change your clothes,” which to me feels as if I’m being ordered around like a child. A Krio instructor today told me that if they are saying it in a quiet and polite way, then the “please” is implied, and I should be mindful that they are in fact being polite by Salone standards.
• As a sort of follow-up to the previous bullet point, our host family has started pointing out that Kevin says “thank you” (“tenki”) way more than any Sierra Leonean would, and generally they point it out by laughing at him, which can be frustrating. I can’t think of a time in my American life when anyone has felt that the words “thank you” could be overused.
• During an info session on transportation safety, our Sierra Leonean security officer told us to keep a lookout for “hidden penguins” before we decide to get in a vehicle for a trip. These “penguins” may be flat or bald tires, rusted bodies, or a cracked windshield. When a PCT asked why they are called penguins, the officer told us that penguins are birds with wings but they can’t fly.  We still haven’t figured out the significance of the name, but we will be sure to search for penguins next time we hire a ride!